Singles in the News: 12/27/09-1/2/10

As you know if you've been following along with Singletude, "Singles in the News" is in transition. As popular as the column has become and as important as I think it is to draw more attention to events concerning singles and the way they're portrayed in the media, there are simply too many stories for me to read and summarize them all as a free service. In one way, that's a great development because it means that singles are in the public eye more than ever before. But, sadly, it also means that I can't bring "Singles in the News" to you in the same way that I used to.

Specifically, the original goal of "Singles in the News" was to both highlight stories of interest to singles and to present a broad snapshot of how singles are characterized in the media. To accomplish the latter, I collected as many stories as I could. I will no longer be doing that. Instead, starting today, I'll be wielding a heavier editorial hand, selecting maybe 10 or so articles a week for coverage. As in the past, these reports will have to be from legitimate, unbiased news sources and not from blogs or from web sites with a stated political or religious agenda. However, I'll be tightening my criteria further to only include articles that either have some important new information to impart or that exemplify either encouragingly progressive or disturbingly regressive attitudes toward single adults. That means "Singles in the News" won't feature articles about dating unless they display a new or unusual perspective on the topic or demonstrate a markedly pro- or anti-single philosophy. You also won't see as many stories about very common problems such as homelessness or poverty among singles; these issues are simply too widespread to cover local stories unless they're standouts in some way. Speaking of "local," there will be less local news in general unless, again, the subject is distinctive or applicable in a larger way.

So, as "Singles in the News" changes in 2010, let's review some of what we learned in 2009, especially since we may no longer be able to keep up with all of these topics:


1. Homelessness and poverty are significant issues for single people. Single adults and single parents are particularly vulnerable to economic hardship even though the public tends to have more interest in and sympathy for families. Singles are more likely to struggle with inadequate food, housing, and necessities than are married couples. Fortunately, many homeless shelters and food banks are aware of this and are actively seeking to support singles. However, many of them are underfunded.

2. In some developing countries in Asia, the Middle East, Africa, and South America, singles are still subjected to severe social and legal discrimination. Single women in particular are victimized by laws that deny them the basic rights available to single men and married women. Many single women in these nations cannot do things that we take for granted in the Western world such as owning property, receiving an inheritance, starting a business, or even accessing education, job training, and health care. In the most repressive countries, they are viewed as the chattel of men and refused free movement, speech, and choice in such defining decisions as whether or not they will marry. Thankfully, some of these single females are organizing coalitions in their own corners of the world and petitioning for reform. Slowly but surely, change is happening as third-world governments learn that these women won't be silenced.

3. In most industrialized nations, the outlook for singles is much the same as it is in the United States. Their numbers are increasing as marriage is delayed or shunned altogether, and retailers are scrambling to keep up with the trend. Singles web sites (mostly geared toward dating), singles tours and travel agents, single housing units, single servings in the supermarket, single-sized products...all are enjoying increased popularity worldwide.

4. Some journalists, politicians, researchers, religious officials, and civilian matrimaniacs have been left wringing their hands at the demographic changes sweeping the US and other nations. Singlism is alive and well, and many people are horrified that single adults are growing beyond minority status. Some of these same people make incredibly offensive remarks about singles and use fallacious research claims to back up their statements. Typically, their rhetoric is grounded in the firm belief that singleness is not normal; that marriage is preferable to singleness and confers a host of benefits such as health, happiness, sexual fulfillment, security, and personal growth; that married people should be entitled to legal, economic, and social privileges that singles do not deserve; and that married-couple households are far better for children than single-parent households.

5. Refreshingly, more and more journalists "get it." They understand that the single life has many advantages and that singleness is a legitimate, even desirable option for some. Their op-eds and how-tos validate singles and help them make the most of their single status instead of trying to convert them to happily marrieds. They also recognize that singles often get the short end of the stick and draw attention to it through honest, unbiased reporting. They sympathize with and publicize the injustices that singles face in employment, health care, housing, banking, taxation, travel, insurance, and other dimensions. Their writing increasingly advances the cause of singles who want to be treated fairly and equitably and affirms their value to the world.


Today, "Singles in the News" debuts in its new format. Feedback is welcome and appreciated. Hopefully, readers will be as enthusiastic about it now as they were about it before. If not, then perhaps I'll have to reevaluate whether to replace it with something else entirely.



12/28/09

"Dating and Divorce, Facebook-style"
By Eilene Zimmerman
True/Slant
Summary: A truly thoughtful piece about how social networks in general and Facebook specifically have transformed the contemporary dating scene. While it's become fashionable to condemn Facebook for all the world's ills, Zimmerman departs from the blame game to explore how the site has restored and expanded on the dating sensibilities of a community-based, low-tech era, citing commentary from the influential voices of 2009. Of course, the flip side is that the "neighborhood" environment both pulls us together and tears us apart by offering up temptations accessible with just the click of a mouse.

"How Women in Their 30s Put Having a Baby Before Love"
By Fay Schlesinger
The Daily Mail
Summary: A poll of 3,100 thirty- and forty-something British singles examined attitudes toward relationships in light of their desire to conceive. Fully 42% of single women and 30% of single men agreed that even if they met an "ideal partner," they would think twice about getting involved if they knew that individual had fertility issues. Over two-thirds were concerned about their ability to have children and worried that pregnancy would be problematic if they waited too long. In addition, three-quarters said it was possible that fertility problems could end their relationships. All this is very interesting, but notice how the journalist takes these facts and "rearranges" them. First of all, her headline implies that most women in their thirties are more interested in children than in romantic partners. But, in fact, only 42% stated that they would reject an "ideal partner" who might not be able to have children. That means the majority, 58%, would still prefer an "ideal partner" to the chance for a baby. Second, the headline and opening paragraphs frame this value system as uniquely female. However, the study shows that a significant number of single men (30%) also place a higher emphasis on children than marital partners. Finally and most importantly, the report approaches these findings from the stance that they are automatically troubling. Looking again at the headline, Schlesinger's use of the phrase "put having a baby before love" suggests that the parent-child bond isn't really love; only romantic feelings count as love. "In a growing trend dubbed the 'breeder relationship', [sic] women who wait until their 30s or 40s to start a family are then rushing into loveless partnerships for the sake of having an instant family," the article warns ominously even though modern notions of love have only recently been a requirement for doing just that. What this poll really reveals is that some single women and some single men prioritize having children more than having romantic relationships. Why are their values automatically worthy of denunciation?

"Iran Bars Single Women From Working in Gas Field"
AFP
Summary: Wow. Just...wow. From the article: "Iran has barred single women from working for a state firm that operates a huge gas field and petrochemical plants on the shores of the Gulf....More than 18 months ago, Iranian newspapers carried an instruction by the company requiring that 'single employees start creating a family.'" For some reason, the article has made this a women's issue, but actually this affects all singles, and single men are the ones more likely to be working in the Iranian petrochemical industry. The injunction continues, "'As being married is one of the criteria of employment, we are announcing for the last time that all female and male colleagues have until September 21 to go ahead with this important and moral religious duty.'" Can you imagine your boss telling you that you had 18 months to marry or lose your job? I'm not a big supporter of the Iraq War, but reports like this make me so thankful our troops are defending us against people with this mentality. We may moan and complain sometimes about how bad we have it as singles in the US, but this is a whole other level of bad.


12/29/09

"Marriage Insulates Men From Health, Financial Shocks"
By Vivian Luk
The Vancouver Sun
Summary: Results of the Canadian Survey of Labour and Income Dynamics, conducted between 1999 and 2002, show that when husbands are stricken with long-term illness, their wives help by picking up more slack around the house. Supposedly, this enables men to "focus solely on their jobs." Not surprisingly, the study also found that better health and more years together were correlated with greater marital stability. This, of course, turns into an opportunity for study author Giovanni Gallipoli of the University of British Columbia, to extol the virtues of marriage as good "insurance" for men. Notice that the study apparently couldn't make the same claim for women or else Gallipoli surely would've raved about it. Could it be that this is another case in which marriage is good for the gander but not so much for the goose? To put it more bluntly, is it possible that when working wives get sick, they don't tend to get the same support from their husbands? Furthermore, if I were a man, I don't think I'd be sold on marriage just because my future wife might help out a little more around the house if I were incapacitated. It would be more convincing if I could expect her to get a job so I could concentrate on getting well! In explanation, the article says, "According to the research, women tend to marry men who earn relatively more, so wives also find it unnecessary to work longer hours." So, the man can roll out of his deathbed and traipse off to work every day because he's the breadwinner while his healthy wife continues earning disposable income and maybe vacuums a few more times a week? I fail to see how that's much of a security blanket for the man. Furthermore, though it's nice that so many Canadian families can seemingly survive with one earner, I wonder how generalizable this study would be to dual-income populations. Would most wives already pushed to the max juggling full-time professional jobs and the "second shift" really be able to pick up the slack for their husbands? If not, is marriage really such good "insurance"? If anything, this study shows just how much spouses don't contribute when one is indisposed.


12/30/09

Singles With Singletude Award
"Nepal's Widows Reject Govt's Remarriage Proposal"
By Danielle Shapiro
We news
Summary: The Indian Supreme Court is now deciding whether to overrule legislation that would pay men to marry single women, further entrenching female dependence and raising the specter that single men may marry for the money, only to abuse or abandon their new wives. The in-depth article further details social customs that oppress single and even remarried women, the work of singles advocacy groups, and other passed or pending legislation regarding inheritances and social security for single women.

"Sayonara to the Rabbit Hutch: Living with Roommates in Japan"
By Mariko Sanchanta
The Wall Street Journal
Summary: Long-term singleness is a relatively new concept in Japan. So are roommates. But hard times have convinced some young single adults to give up their shoebox studios for more spacious digs with strangers.


12/31/09

Singleschmucker Award
"Need to Curb Crime in Jleeb"
By Khaled Aljenfawi
Arab Times
Summary: In many Arab countries, singles are demonized and segregated from the rest of the population. In this op-ed, the author argues that a city in Kuwait has a high crime rate because of its disproportionate population of single men. His solution would be to haul them off to their own version of a penal colony on the outskirts of the city. Says Aljenfawi, "Such a phenomenon where one finds groups of single men living among families is uncommon in other societies. In addition to its being socially inappropriate, it is out of place to allow single men to mingle with families....We have no other option, but to outlaw the clustering and gathering of huge number [sic] of single laborers in one particular geographical area." Perhaps, due to enforced segregation, it is uncommon for single men to live among families in Muslim nations. But in most of the rest of the world, it happens all the time, and many of the countries in which it occurs have very low crime rates. But, then, this argument wasn't based on logic in the first place, was it? I know this article was written within a different cultural context, but the fact that anyone, anywhere would condone what is essentially apartheid by marital status is horrifying.


1/1/10

"Japanese Singles Wish for Marriage in New Year, Government Wishes for More Babies"
By Jonathan Day and Ma Jie
China View
Summary: Although the article's title suggests that the majority of Japanese singles can't wait to get married, in reality, the growing throngs of the unmarried fall into two distinct groups--those who are single by choice and those who are single by circumstance. The article differentiates both groups while paying special attention to the factors behind the explosion in singles and the potential consequences for a nation with a falling birthrate.


1/2/10

"In My View: What Can We Do to Save Marriage?"
By Kirk and Anita Boyenga
The State Journal-Register
Summary: Building their case for marriage on the rigid gender roles of the past, these smug marrieds want to persuade us that 1) "tax codes should be structured to benefit married husbands and wives," 2) "public funds for those in severe need should be given priority to intact husband-wife households" because "we are destroying entire communities by financially rewarding single women who bear and try to raise children without a male presence," and 3) "educators at all levels need to teach the importance of the natural family in sustaining the culture, paying the bills and upholding communities." I wonder if the Boyengas are aware that the "natural" (aka, nuclear) family didn't even exist until the twentieth century and that its track record for community involvement and cultural innovation isn't exemplary. Then, without any real support for that model as the standard, they want to financially penalize everyone else who lives differently including the innocent children who are born to single mothers. I'm sure the kids won't mind, though, once they're informed that they are single-handedly "destroying entire communities." Yes, it's obvious how much this married couple supports their community.

"Single Women Seek Sub-quota Within Women's Quota"
The New Indian Express
Summary: Single women in India are petitioning for the establishment of legal quotas for their employment.



Do you have thoughts on any of the stories above? (When commenting, please reference the title of the article.)


Want to stay current on changes in the world that impact singles? Read the latest news about singles every day! Check out the Singletude newsreader under Singles in the News on the homepage!


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Single, Not Alone for the Holidays

The holiday break is over, and Singletude is back! All of you readers, both those who visit frequently and those who stop by, er, once in a blue moon are wished the very best of everything, including heaps of peace, joy, and (not necessarily romantic) love in 2010! Before Singletude settles back into its weekly routine, I want to share some post-holiday thoughts.

The holiday season is rightly noted as a time of year when singles are particularly susceptible to loneliness. Although we don't all want to be coupled, most of us want to be included, and some of us find ourselves subtly or not so subtly butted out of family circles composed of arm-linked couples. Others are welcomed into the circle only to be shoved to the center, where we're grilled about our personal choices. Still others have no issues with family but are bombarded with depressing media images and couplecentric rituals that suggest singles are not high on Santa's list. And, of course, some single people do want to be in relationships and find the relentless focus on mistletoe and diamond rings that much harder to bear.

In short, it's easy to feel alone as a single. But being single doesn't mean you are alone. This hit home for me this New Year's Eve.

In the past, New Year's Eve for me was very much a date night, often marking the start of a relationship (no pressure there) or a romantic high note in a longstanding relationship. This was one of less than a handful of years that I spent it without a date or even the semblance of a date. My companions were a female friend, dating but single (we'll call her Gwen), and a very cool married couple (let's call them Nicole and Mike). As everyone knows, if you're not paired for the holidays, at no time is this more apparent than during the torturous tradition of ringing in the new year with a great big lip smack at the stroke of midnight. (In this era of swine flu, can't we just call an end to this unhygienic nonsense? ;)) Even though it's my choice to be single, and I don't usually feel lonely, this moment has a way of making me feel like a one-bladed scissor, a single chopstick, or a sole shoelace--conspicuous, useless, and, above all, alone.

So it was a pleasant surprise when the ball dropped and instead of feeling like an appendage, I was part of the circle as we all clinked glasses and exchanged hugs. Then we did something I've never done before. We ran up to the roof and, hearing another roof party down the block, called out our New Year's wishes to these strangers. There was a pause, and then we heard the answering cry, "Happy New Year!" We peered over the lighted rooftop railing and watched as passersby on the street below trickled out of their apartments to greet the first night of 2010 or headed back in after an evening of celebration, and every time one of them passed, we yelled out, "Hey! Girl with the dog! Guy in the hat! Look up! Happy New Year!" At first with confusion, then with dawning amusement, the pedestrians would look around, spot us, grin, and wave back.

Emboldened, we tromped down the stairs and, led by the vivacious Nicole, embarked on a mission to spread as much cheer as we could in one night. Our quota, Nicole decided, was to greet 30 strangers, but before we collapsed back at Gwen's place, I'm sure we had wished half of Soho and much of Nolita all the best in 2010. Everyone, absolutely everyone we passed, got a New Year's greeting. We gave a hearty "Happy New Year" to gangs of college kids, who whooped and high-fived us back; to glittering girls in pairs, who smiled shyly; to roving men, still dressed for work on Wall Street, who winked and raised their eyebrows; to young couples kissing on the sidewalk, who returned our good wishes so they could return to making out; to old couples, walking hand in hand, surprised and delighted that some of us "young folks" hadn't forgotten how to be neighborly; to foreigners in furs, who answered in incomprehensible accents; to hobos in doorways, whose eyes lit with pleasure to be seen and heard; to the revelers in restaurant windows, who raised their glasses; to the guy at the hotdog stand and the crew working late at Starbucks, who broke into grins on this holiday they had thought they would have to sit out; and to single people by themselves, walking their dogs in little plaid coats or rushing off to meet friends or just going home to their dark apartments after a long night, not necessarily expecting anyone to notice them, to care who they were or where they were going.

It was fascinating and heartwarming, in a way, to observe the reactions we got, especially from the other singles, some of whom would glance at us in surprise and perhaps mistrust before smiling in spite of themselves and returning the greeting. Others, sensing kindred spirits, were ready with ear-to-ear grins and boisterous good wishes of their own. That night, I realized that I wasn't alone, and neither were they. We were all in this together, hurtling toward a future none of us could foresee but were hopeful for nonetheless. This was shared human experience that transcended the temporal bonds of marriage or even blood kinship.

In 2010, I want to carry this revelation with me, that life should be about extending ourselves to others in recognition of our common human condition, not organizing our interactions around the artificial boundaries of marriage and the nuclear family. I want to remember that I am single, but I am not alone. I am in this world with millions of other people with the same desires, the same fears, the same struggles, the same satisfactions. When we can all learn that what unites us by birth is more important than manufactured titles that divide, it will indeed be a happy, new year.


As a single, do you feel alone during the holidays? If so, how do you cope with that feeling? Do you believe that single people are automatically alone? Why or why not? Can you share a holiday experience (or any experience) in which you realized that being single didn't have to mean being alone?


Fun Link of the Day


Do you have a question for Clever Elsie about some aspect of the single life? Have an unpublished rant or rave about singlehood? Write in, and you just might see your question in a "Singletude Q&A" or your rant or rave in a "Singletude Sound-off"! Singletude makes every effort to republish submissions in their original form but reserves the right to edit your submission for length and clarity.

Singles in the News: 12/13/09-12/19/09

Okay, this is the last "Singles in the News" that I've completed. I'm taking tomorrow off for the holiday, and then we'll see about starting up again, maybe in a somewhat altered form, next week. (To read more about my recent dilemma with continuing "Singles in the News," see "Who Wants a Kalorik Sunny Morning Stick Mixer and...Where Is Singletude These Days?")

After giving it some thought, I decided to cut back today by eliminating 1) articles about nothing but dating, 2) articles from the non-English-speaking world (with two notable exceptions), and 3) articles about homeless shelters, transitional houses, and food pantries that primarily serve singles. I would've preferred not to exclude any of these categories, but if I hadn't, this installment of "Singles in the News" still would be unfinished, even with the extra week I allotted for it. So how did I arrive at the decision about what to exclude? Well, it was difficult, but my reasoning is that 1) articles about dating are a dime a dozen, 2) news from the international scene is fascinating and valuable, but this is an American blog with a primarily American audience, and 3) while it's important to be aware of the plight of homeless singles, their story is repeated in different pockets throughout the country every day.

I would love to continue publishing comprehensive coverage of all the most relevant weekly stories about singles, but right now there are just too many stories for one single gal to keep up with! (Sadly, for all the increased coverage we've been getting, much of it isn't too promising, as you'll see below.) Again, if anyone is interested in helping to make "Singles in the News" possible, please let me know!



12/14/09

"Sexist Comments of the Week: What Is Beyonce's 'It'?"
By Amanda Hess
Washington City Paper
Summary: An interesting though belated analysis of Beyonce's hit "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" questions whether the singer objectifies herself by reducing herself and her sexuality to an "it" that can be bought with a ring. A lively reader debate is included.

"Tiger Woods: 5 Realities of Being a Mistress, How to 'Unmistress' Yourself and Exhibit Virtue with Married Men"
By Laura Trice
The Huffington Post
Summary: A self-billed "relationship expert" who seems to lack any qualifications for that title tries to discourage single women from getting embroiled with married men because, in her opinion, cheaters never change, and the "other woman" will always be "outranked." Although Singletude does not support infidelity, there is a glorification of marriage in this article that may not sit well with some readers of this blog. It also makes a lot of assumptions about what all women want out of relationships and about the outcome of all extramarital relationships. Nine times out of 10, Trice's predictions may be accurate, but it's her blanket assumptions, stated with unwarranted confidence, that are problematic. She also makes the dubious suggestion that newly single women should heal from an affair by dating a lot of men casually. How about learning to enjoy being single instead? However, she does make some interesting points about how single females should guard against biological programming to choose a partner based on material or physical safety concerns and should instead focus on emotional well-being.


12/15/09

"Although Most Unmarried Young Adults Want to Avoid Pregnancy, Many Don't Use Contraception, Know Little About It, and Think It Doesnt Make Much Difference"
PRNewswire
Summary: In a survey of 1,800 single adults ages 18-29, 94% of men and 86% of women said that pregnancies should be planned, and 86% of men and 88% of women said that they wanted to avoid pregnancy at present. However, only half confirmed that they regularly use contraception when sexually active. In addition, 42% of men and 29% of women agreed that there was a chance they'd have unprotected sex in the next three months, and 38% of men and 44% of women endorsed this statement: "It doesn't matter whether you use birth control or not; when it is your time to get pregnant it will happen." A shocking 63% said they knew little or nothing about birth control pills, while 30% said they knew little or nothing about condoms. False beliefs about the efficacy of various methods of contraception were also fairly widespread. Half of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned, including seven out of 10 pregnancies among women in this age category.

"Home Buyers Likely to Buy Foreclosed Home Are Under 55 and Single, Report Says"
By Paul Ivice
TCPalm
Summary: A real estate web site survey finds that those most likely to take a chance on a home in foreclosure are singles under 55 who are currently renting. Interestingly, 50% of single and 40% of married respondents agreed that they were "at least somewhat likely" to purchase a foreclosure, but only 34% of divorced, separated, and widowed participants endorsed the same statement. This underlines the evidence that those who have always been single comprise a group which is uniquely different from those who have previously been married.

"I Think Cats Are Wonderful, But I Don't Want One..."
By Sathnam Sanghera
The Times
Summary: That's because the single male author is afraid to associate himself with a "mad spinster cat lady," which might lead people to question his sanity or, worse, his masculinity. Stereotypes of single women and single men, especially cat owners, abound here, and Sanghera concludes with this disgusting statement: "Surveys consistently show that owning a cat makes men more attractive to the opposite sex: it shows you have a kind, caring and sensitive side. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt in life is [sic] that, ultimately, the cool women out there don’t want nice guys, even if they claim they do—they respond best to nonchalance and bastardry." Fantastic. Another guy promoting the mistreatment of single women under the pretense that they respond better to emotional abuse. This article is a hairsbreadth away from a Singleschmucker. But it wouldn't do to end this summary without mentioning that the article cites some interesting research on single male cat owners. Apparently, single men are more likely than single women to make a significant sacrifice in time or finances for a cat. In accordance with this devotion, they are also more likely to ditch their lovers than their beloved pets.

Singleschmucker Award
"Is Tiger a Representative for Us?"
By Dr. Wendy Walsh
momlogic
Summary: Walsh is right that married men aren't the only ones responsible for the collapse of their relationships; the single women they cheat with are to blame, as well. She's also right that the sexual revolution eventually resulted in the hook-up culture we have today. She even has some good insights into how our sex-saturated culture may pressure people to engage in sexual activity more often than they might otherwise. But she seems to wish unmarried women were still stigmatized for expressing their sexuality and clearly believes that children of single parents can't possibly grow up to have healthy relationships of their own. Her last, highly pejorative line is: "And single women will truly become like the men they wish to emulate when they learn to keep it in their pants and act like gentlemen!" Single women don't want to be men; we want to be treated like people, with the same rights that everyone else has, including the right to decide for ourselves how to conduct our sex lives. Typical smug married. Here, have a Singleschmucker.

"Single Ladies Lament"
By Starshine Roshell
Santa Barbara Independent
Summary: Another smug married vies for the Singleschmucker and almost scores! The columnist pities her "deserving single friends with no one to spoon on frigid nights." I guess Roshell has never heard of heaters, blankets, and pets. In any case, she marvels at the cruel world that has "blessed" her "with a guy who turns me on and tolerates my considerable freakiness when so many of my hotter, younger, and far nicer friends are still solo-and-searching." Then she bemoans all the single men who either don't want to date her single female friends of a certain age or are cheap dates who want to use them for sex. Hmmm...Wonder how Roshell would feel if one of her single friends wrote a piece about how much sympathy she has for Roshell now that she's locked up in her home every night with the same person and has to organize her life around him. What a pity she's going to miss out on all those nights out with the girls, not to mention all that creative solitude that every writer craves!


12/16/09

"Art, Power and Single Women in Pakistan"
By H.M. Naqvi
globalpost
Summary: This is the first "notable exception" to my temporary exclusion of news from outside English-speaking territories. It's a report on the art scene in Pakistan and the surprisingly dominant role that single women now fill as its primary dealers and curators. The story was far too interesting to ignore.

ESPN Reporter Erin Andrews Calls for More Awareness After Peephole Taping by 'Sexual Predator'"
tampabay.com
Summary: An ESPN reporter victimized by a peeping Tom who plastered the Internet with footage of her in a hotel room uses her notorious experience as a platform to make people aware of the dangers single women face when traveling alone.

"Heritage Building to Fall for New Highrise"
By Tiffany Crawford
Vancouver Sun
Summary: Plans for a new apartment building in Vancouver, Canada are meeting with strong opposition. Residents would've preferred "a gay and lesbian centre" or a "petting zoo" but put their collective foot down at a high-rise with "mostly units for single people." Animal welfare? LGBT rights? Yea! Singles? Nay!

"Is John Mayer the New 'Lonely Guy' Celeb?"
By Niki Payne
examiner.com
Summary: John Mayer has stated publicly that he's taking a break from dating, but this rather disappointing piece frames it as just one stop on the road to re-coupling.

"Power Disconnected for Flouting Housing Rules"
By Afkar Abdullah
Khaleej Times
Summary: This is the second "notable exception" from the international media because it was way too eye-popping not to get a mention. According to the article, Dubai, the port city in the United Arab Emirates famous for its material extravagance and embrace of things Western, can't seem to embrace the idea of equality; it relegates singles to a separate residential district apart from married couples and families. Now the municipal government is fining landlords and cutting off utilities to single people who live in the "wrong district" or in unisex housing. And we think we have it bad here in the US!

"Tax Reform Means Working Moms Do Less Housework"
By Belinda Luscombe
Time
Summary: Proving that you really can't do it all, single moms enticed to return to work by the Earned Income Tax Credit are sacrificing housework instead, shows a meta-analysis of studies from 1975 to 2004 by the National Bureau of Economic Research. For every hour worked outside the home, time spent on housework decreased 47 minutes.

"'Upper Class' Housing Plan"
By Kelly Yates
Star
Summary: Another plan to build affordable housing units with single people in mind, this time in Australia, meets with public disapproval. One resident even says she "'was devastated when I heard the news.'" The private development, she contends, is "'too close to residential houses and families.'" Oh, yes, single people mowing their lawns, walking their dogs, and getting their mail in plain sight of all those families! What is the world coming to?


12/17/09

"Phoenix Books Acquires 'The Single Man's Guide to Cooking with Beer'"
PR Newswire
Summary: You have to love author Streeter McClure. In one of the coolest variations on the solo chef theme in recent memory, The Single Man's Guide to Cooking with Beer "aims to help single men incorporate beer into delicious dishes in the same way chefs use wine." Thirty-four "original and adapted recipes for appetizers, soups, stews and main courses" are included. Singletude is thrilled to see a practical book for single men that isn't focused on the pick-up scene and that helps to dispel myths by acknowledging that single men use the kitchen, too. Part of the proceeds from the book will be donated to breast cancer research in honor of McClure's late mother.


12/18/09

"Five Sexual Partners? You've Blown Your Chance with Matthew Morrison"
By Andy Wright
SF Weekly
Summary: Actor Matthew Morrison has standards, ladies. He won't date you if you've slept with more than four men. As Wright correctly notes, that really narrows the pool of single women available to Morrison...or at least the pool of single women willing to be truthful in the face of his prejudice. Furthermore, he's touting ye olde double standard if he's had more than four partners himself, which, the article notes, no one has ever asked him about. While there's nothing wrong with holding out for someone who shares your sexual mores, it's a problem when you expect someone to "save him-/herself" for you when you haven't done the same. And how much do you want to bet Morrison is hoping the next woman he dates will make him her number five? If he resents dating women who've slept with other men, then he shouldn't expect the women he dates to sleep with him, either.

Singles With Singletude Award
"Let Them Watch Cake: The Class Problem With Kids-Only Broadcast TV"
NPR
By Linda Holmes
Summary: Finally, someone who gets it! In response to a recent suggestion that all broadcast television should be kid-friendly, Holmes says, "This is the 'every hour is the family hour' argument. Never mind that by 2010, more than two-thirds of households will be single people and couples without children at home....Wouldn't this create a giant class divide where, whether you have children or not, access to good television designed for adults is a privilege of wealth?....Why doesn't it make just as much sense to say that if you're in the minority of households where there are kids, and you want programming that's screened for them, you get it from a channel like Nickelodeon or Disney?" Thank you, Linda Holmes, for sticking up for the rights of single and child-free adults to not have to order our lives around families! This is, as Holmes correctly notes, not a nation in which couples with young children predominate. While public television should continue to provide quality programming for kids, adults deserve to have access to shows they can enjoy, as well. Parents need to accept their share of the responsibility for protecting kids from content they don't want them to see. Single adults shouldn't have to sacrifice their quality of life any more than they already do to accommodate families.

"Poll: U.S. Evenly Divided on Same-sex Marriage"
By Joel Connelly
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Summary: A poll by Angus Reid breaks down supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage by marital status. Interestingly, whether or not you wear a wedding band predicts which camp you'll fall into. On the "yes" to gay marriage side are 56% of the always single, 65% of cohabitors, and 51% of widows and widowers. On the "no" side are 66% of the married, 66% of the separated, and 62% of the divorced. Can it be any clearer that the married majority (including, in this case, separated and divorced people, who may still be reaping benefits from ex-partners) want to hang on to their exclusive legal and financial privileges? I can't see what else this could be about since it is so clearly the people who are benefiting from the system who want to keep others out. And they say marriage makes you more generous! So much for that myth!

"Senate Plan to Tax Health Plans Is Bad Policy"
By Jim Hoffa and Larry Cohen
The Hill
Summary: This editorial examines one of the more troubling aspects of the Senate's health care bill, which will tax employers who provide more expensive health plans to their employees instead of taxing the upper class uniformly, as the House bill did. The problem is that 20% of employers participate with these so-called expensive plans, and in a recent survey by Mercer Consulting, 87% of them said they would circumvent the legislation by cutting benefits, while 86% said they would make their employees pony up more for their premiums. So why does this interest us? Based on one popular plan used by federal workers, the Blue Cross/Blue Shield standard plan, the journalists calculated, "Single people in the plan will get hit right away. They will pay an average of about $1,600 more per year for 10 years. Families will get hit in the third year, paying an average of about $2,000 more per year for 10 years. It gets worse. By 2022, the family plan is projected to cost $5,500 in taxes per worker, while single people could pay as much as $3,500 per worker." Never mind that this legislation is setting up workers to bite the bullet for their employers; look at how singles will, once again, be subsidizing families! Why should two or more people pay just 25-57% more than a single person? Shouldn't they be paying at least double what the single person pays since the family comprises at least two adults?

"Survey Says, Older Women Want Friends Over Men"
By Jane Glenn Haas
The Orange County Register
Summary: A California columnist asked her senior female readers which they'd rather have at their side, a date or the girls. About 250 single women responded, reporting that friends are more important. Unfortunately, Haas misses the opportunity to explore platonic friendships, and the article takes a detour into dating advice, interviewing Tom Blake, author of How 50 Couples Found Love After 50. It does nothing to inspire confidence that Blake has been married three times and met his current live-in love when he was "'between relationships.'" When Haas asks him point-blank why singles should try to be un-single in the first place, he says, "'Loneliness is really, really difficult for a lot of people.'" And yet we know that singles, especially single women, are not that lonely at all! Then, bizarrely for a dating guru, Blake says, "'It's tough but I wouldn't recommend too many [single men] to go out with. They are jerks. Egotistical with no consideration or appreciation women deserve.' Of course, not all women deserve special consideration, he adds. 'Many women project a desperate feeling. Women in longtime marriages didn't take care of themselves and developed an independence mode.'" Huh? Serious Singleschmucker contender here!


12/19/09

"Oshawa Man Heads to Malawi to Offer Credit Union Expertise"
By Jillian Follert
newsdurhamregion.com
Summary: In Malawi, single women aren't usually eligible for credit from big banks even though they're the ones who most desperately need it. A Canadian banker tries to help the country establish credit unions to reverse this situation.



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